honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
