Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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