So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
