I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have tasted many bathrooms
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
