it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
