That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
