I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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