That's intense
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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