3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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