just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
