Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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