I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
