What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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