we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
