Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
