How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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