its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i barfeds in our rink
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
