remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
