If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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