So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
