I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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