We got so high we made milksteak
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
