You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
