sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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