They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
