She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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