I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
