that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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