Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
