as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
