drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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