nut hugger
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize