Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wear drunk well.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
