watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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