So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
