I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
