we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
no you cant smoke seaweed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
