i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
