All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
