Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
