You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
