i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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