yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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