You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
