i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I could make wine with my vomit
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
