Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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