That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
