I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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