I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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