My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
