I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
